THE DIPLOMATICON

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Again, not a fish, but creatures in the sea tend to be called ‘fish’ whether they like it or not. This particular creature wouldn’t like one of its common names at all.

I did some research into the animal. Yes, I do research. Google’s AI avoided one alternative common name, which is one of those over-sensitive self-censoring examples that is more than a little pathetic.

This species is alternatively called the ‘fat innkeeper worm’ or the ‘Chinese innkeeper worm’. The ‘innkeeper’ name comes from the fact that it creates U-shaped burrows in sand at the bottom of the sea which it shares with other small sea creatures. Yes, it runs an ‘inn’.

It is a species of spoon worm. The idea with this name is that the fleshy ‘head’ of the creature, it’s proboscis (nose), scoops up food like a spoon. Hmm.

However, the other common name for this creature is the ‘penis fish’. And, yes, we can all see why. Interestingly, apart from its appearance, the species can grow to a length of 10cm – 30cm (4 to 12 inches). Which goes from the realistic to the fantastic for penises around the world.

The Diplomacy ‘Urechis unicinctus’

The Urechis unicinctus is a pretty recognisable species, once you know its name. Honestly, I didn’t. What can I pick for ‘U’? I pondered. There weren’t many suitable options. So I admit I went for the obvious and, with schoolboy glee, settled for the penis fish.

What type of player is the ‘Urechis unicinctus’, then, the ‘penis fish’? Pretty obvious, isn’t it? It’s a player who’s a bit of a prick.¹

We can all think of someone attached to the Hobby who is a Urechis unicinctus, can’t we?

See? One popped into your head right then.

Thankfully, for me, there aren’t many. In fact, currently, I can think of only one (and I won’t name them but they’re a good 12 inches).

There’s not much more to say about the Urechis unicinctus. It has nothing to do with their Dip skills (although a lack of such might explain them).

Remarkably, it boils down to who they are as people. In a Hobby filled with intelligent, diplomatic people, liars and shit-stirrers are rare.

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NOTES

1. In case this is a British English idiom, a ‘bit of a prick’ is someone who might be called an asshole, someone who is contemptible. ↩︎

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INTRO

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