After just eliminating extinct animals from the list, I suppose there is something of a double standard by including a mythical beast. But there is a reason for this (and you’re going to have to read on for that, of course; fascinating, huh?).
There are some people who will insist that yeti actually exist. They are also likely to insist that the world is flat, that aliens built the pyramids, or that God is love.
These Himalayan creatures may exist, of course, but can we prove it? Not yet(i). [Oh, come on – you know it had to be said.]
The photo above, I should probably point out, is not proof. This is the yeti, or ‘Abominable Snowman’, as seen in two Doctor Who adventures featuring Patrick Troughton, the (now known to be misnumbered) second Doctor: “The Abominable Snowman” and “The Web of Fear”. The first is set in Tibet in the year 1935, the second in London forty years or so later. How did the yeti get from Tibet to London? You’ll have to watch the series (you can find it on BBC iPlayer).
The bigger question is how these yeti got their paws on (or should that be ‘in’?) shoes.
Anyway…
The Diplomacy ‘Yeti’
Like its fictional counterpart, the Diplomacy ‘Yeti’ is a mythical creature. Well, in a sense; they exist but they propagate a myth. What is this myth, and why does it make these players mythical themselves?
The myth is that these players never lie. No, honestly, it is, and they do exist. Well, as people. As scrupulously honest players of Diplomacy? Nah.
Good Dip players strive to be honest in their interactions, and this is a good policy to have. In a game in which lies, deceit and betrayal are commonplace, honesty, openness and loyalty are treasures to be troved. You can’t build a trusting relationship, which is needed for an alliance in Diplomacy, on lies. You have to be honest with your allies… and with your enemies, too, for that matter, because an enemy is just an ally you haven’t worked with yet(i). [Last time, I promise.]
Yeti, though, will have you believe that they never lie, and never stab. This, in itself, proves the lie because nobody gets through a game of Dip without lying to someone.
So, OK, perhaps ‘lying’ is strong. Let’s go with ‘deceiving’. But there is perhaps a gap the width of a sheet of tissue between ‘lie’ and ‘deceit’. These players will, at the least, omit things, take actions they haven’t said anything about, do things they said they wouldn’t, etc. Nobody in a game of Diplomacy is going to tell someone that they’re going to attack them, except as a ploy… and this, of course, is a lie.
As for stabbing? Well, there are players who say they never stab. What they mean is that they rarely stab. They play by maintaining their alliance, by sticking with their allies no matter what. They turn down chances to win in favour of maintaining the perception of them as being an honest and trustworthy player.
Thomas Haver became World Diplomacy Champion in 2014. How did he get to this lofted pinnacle? By being a ‘Carebear,’ a player who sticks with the alliance no matter what. He never stabs.
Wait… Never? Not quite.
In Round One of the WDC 2014, Haver was playing Russia. In this game he allied himself with a Dipmeister, Chris Brand, playing Turkey. They stuck together throughout the game. Until the end, until Haver threw away his Carebear clothing and turned into a grizzly. Turkey was wide open and, if he stabbed Turkey, and grabbed a couple of additional SCs from their common enemies, Haver would solo. So he did.
This is the Thomas Haver who, in the article I linked to above, said this about playing Diplomacy:
“People laugh at me, they call me a Carebear.” … “If you’re a strong alliance player and it’s hard to break your alliances up, they say you’re a Carebear.” The game is designed for cooperation, he argues. Every power starts out completely equal; every piece moves exactly the same. “By its very nature you need to cooperate, coordinate with someone else.”
“The Board Game of the Alpha Nerds.” Hill, D. Grantland, 18 June 2014. Accessed 8 June 2025.
Here, then, is the truth about these players. They do lie, they do stab. They just haven’t yet(i).
[No, that is the last one, categorically, because I have nothing more to say.]
THE DIPLOMATICON 
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