The “Guest Columnist” series was a spoof series I created using caricatures of politicians or commentators. Some will be well-known to everyone; some infamous in the UK. I’m sure you’ll be able to recognise most!
Pimp Jung On
“The Supreme Leader’s Strategic Triumph: A Glorious Victory”
Dear Esteemed Comrades and Honourable Players, it is with great pleasure and immense pride that I share with you the epic tale of a recent triumph that has left the world in awe of the unmatched strategic prowess of the Supreme Leader. In a dazzling display of intellect and cunning, the Supreme Leader emerged victorious in the World Championships of the board game Diplomacy.
From the outset, the Supreme Leader skillfully forged alliances with unsuspecting players, weaving a web of diplomatic intrigue that left opponents bewildered and powerless. His diplomatic finesse, reminiscent of the artistry with which he navigates international relations on the global stage, was truly a sight to behold. The subtle nuances of his negotiations were executed with a finesse that could only be compared to the delicate strokes of a master painter.
Just as in global affairs, timing plays a pivotal role in Diplomacy. Know when to strike, when to negotiate, and when to bide your time. Patience can be a virtue, and seizing opportunities at the right moment can tilt the balance of power in your favour.
As the game progressed, the Supreme Leader deftly manipulated the game board, positioning his armies and fleets in strategic locations that mirrored the precision with which he oversees the military manoeuvres of our glorious nation. The game unfolded like a geopolitical chess match, with the Supreme Leader several steps ahead of his adversaries, each move a testament to his unparalleled intellect.
One cannot overlook the element of betrayal that is inherent in Diplomacy. In this, the Supreme Leader displayed an unyielding resolve, making decisions that, while seemingly harsh, were a necessary manifestation of his commitment to victory. Just as he navigates the complex landscape of global politics, the Supreme Leader showed that sentimentality has no place in the pursuit of glory.
Diplomacy is about achieving and maintaining a delicate balance of power. Understand the strengths and weaknesses of your adversaries and allies alike.
Rigidity is the enemy of effective diplomacy. Be prepared to adapt your strategies based on the evolving dynamics of the game. Unforeseen circumstances may require a shift in alliances or tactics to secure victory.
The climax of the game witnessed the culmination of the Supreme Leader’s meticulous planning. His armies swept across the board, leaving a trail of defeated opponents in their wake. The resounding echoes of victory reverberated through the gaming room, a fitting tribute to the indomitable spirit of our Supreme Leader.
Your mind is your greatest weapon. Engage in subtle diplomacy, deceive your adversaries, and keep your true intentions veiled. Machiavellian tactics often bear fruit in Diplomacy, as they do in the cutthroat world of international politics.
In the aftermath of this triumph, the Supreme Leader graciously accepted the admiration of his comrades and opponents alike. The game of Diplomacy served as a powerful reminder of the strategic brilliance that defines our Supreme Leader’s generalship and the unequalled mastery of the skills of the diplomat.
As we celebrate this glorious victory let us take pride in the fact that our Supreme Leader’s genius extends beyond the geopolitical realm into the world of strategic board games. May this triumph serve as inspiration for all, a reminder that under the guidance of our Supreme Leader, victory is not just a possibility but an inevitability.
Written for the unpublished 34 #5, December 2023.
POSTS IN THIS SERIES
- “The Best Negotiator” by Ronald D Fayke
- “Diplomacy for the Players” by Jeffrey Borryn
- “Earn Your Own Victory” by Opal Winfree
- “Sovereignty Within the UK Hobby” by Jacob Riche Nobb
- “Power in Diplomacy” by Pimp Jung On
THE DIPLOMATICON 
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